(Above my dining room window: "This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24)
(Sara sent me this picture of my wall words, and I love it. Thank you, Sara!)I am slowly resuming normal life, much to my husband's relief. Not quite as sick as I was, not quite as tired. I am still on (modified) bed rest, for a blood clot on the placenta. I will go back in a week to get that checked out. For now, I am lying low and just trying to get a few things done every now and then.
I woke up this morning, and my first thoughts were "how am I going to get through this day?" I immediately started thinking of things I could do to escape...a long shower, facebooking all day, send the kids to my mom, etc. That has pretty much been status quo for the last 5-6 weeks. And frankly, we are all sick of it. I am tired of just trying to survive, of not enjoying my kids, of just trying to get through the day so I can go to bed again. And I made a DECISION that today would not be that way, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, as my mother says.
So, I called the boys in for a pow wow. I apologized for being a negligent mommy for these last few weeks. I thanked them for being helpful and patient while I have been sick. And I told them that today was going to be different. I would not be angry. I would not yell. I would expect good attitudes and quick obedience from them. I told them that we were going to pitch in together and clean the house, bake some strawberry bread, read books, and enjoy our day.
And we have. The kids have been (mostly) great. They have cleaned without complaining. They ate their weight in strawberry bread. We read books upon books upon books. We had long in depth discussions about Star Wars (the current obsession around here). I actually ENJOYED my children again. I have really missed that over the last 6 weeks.
And I wonder, for the 385,670th time, why I can't grasp that the mama's attitude really does set the tone for the home?
Today, I made a decision that I was going to enjoy my boys and that I was not going to view the day as just something to survive. And, as a result, the day has been lovely. But I had to mentally decide that I was going to look for the good and minimize the less-than-great. Seems like this lesson would start to sink in. I am not going to spend time crying over the days we lost...they mattered too, of course. I AM going to be thankful that we had today, a bright, happy, snuggled up at home day...that started out just like the others before it, but then made a U-turn.
Now, you will have to excuse me. A certain sweet little 3 year old wants to snuggle.
wow...glad I lit that fire...that was very inspirational...I too have been trying to focus on enjoying my kids...it has all gone by wayyyy too quickly.
ReplyDeleteDid they call the blood clot a subchorionic hematoma (sp?)? I had one with Lorelei and it scared me to death even though they told me it would be fine...I went back in two days and it had reabsorbed...Don't fret it will be fine :) I'll say a quick prayer!
...and another thing, girls become obsessed with Star Wars too!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, we have a light saber and a little Ewok fan in our house too!
ReplyDeleteWondered where you've been. Hope you're feeling better.
hi Laurel--amazing you feel better already! I'm 14 weeks and not completely better. Though today was nausea free thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteJust want to say take it easy on yourself! You are the hardest on yourself for sure. It's ok if your mother watches the kids for weeks on end until you feel better. Pretty soon this will all be a huge blur. I was really sick with my last child and now I ask my kids--"remember when I was sick...." and they say, " no mommy we don't". That's God's grace. And God's grace will get you through it and God's grace will help them forget. Have fun snuggling with your boys, reading with your boys, and talking about Star WArs with your boys, but Facebookin' is ok, too. Give yourself that grace. Love you, Andrea
Thank you for this well-timed reminder. I am with you, just on the other end of the pregnancy. The Lord is our strength. We do not go it alone. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Becky
so glad your feeling better! i too have realized how my attitude shapes our days!
ReplyDeleteBeen reading, but don't know if I've commented here before, so hello:)
ReplyDeleteGlad you're feeling better. Hope you'd take it easy, and don't be so hard on yourself. His mercy is new every morning.
And we are a work in progress.
What sweet words - I love that you called them in for a pow wow - I'm thinking I might need to try that soon.
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ReplyDeletefunny you mentioned this. i have been learning lessons similar to this. you can read about it my blog.
ReplyDeletehttp://emerya.blogspot.com
i love reading your thoughts!
I know it's hard right now....but just imagine holding that sweet baby in just a few months. You are a great mother, and your boys know you LOVE them!! On a diff. note, I got the knobs at Hobby Lobby. There are a million different knobs. I wish that I had more cabinets in my house. I might still get some for the kitchen, simply bc they are too cute not to get more. : )
ReplyDeleteYour post made me think of what Elizabeth Elliot always said...
ReplyDelete"Just do the Next Right Thing".
I try to remember that when I am tempted to think too far ahead and worry how I will handle it all.
Sometimes God only gives grace for the current day (or hour...or minute).
I really like your blog :)