(Above my dining room window: "This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24)
(Sara sent me this picture of my wall words, and I love it. Thank you, Sara!)I am slowly resuming normal life, much to my husband's relief. Not quite as sick as I was, not quite as tired. I am still on (modified) bed rest, for a blood clot on the placenta. I will go back in a week to get that checked out. For now, I am lying low and just trying to get a few things done every now and then.
I woke up this morning, and my first thoughts were "how am I going to get through this day?" I immediately started thinking of things I could do to escape...a long shower, facebooking all day, send the kids to my mom, etc. That has pretty much been status quo for the last 5-6 weeks. And frankly, we are all sick of it. I am tired of just trying to survive, of not enjoying my kids, of just trying to get through the day so I can go to bed again. And I made a DECISION that today would not be that way, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, as my mother says.
So, I called the boys in for a pow wow. I apologized for being a negligent mommy for these last few weeks. I thanked them for being helpful and patient while I have been sick. And I told them that today was going to be different. I would not be angry. I would not yell. I would expect good attitudes and quick obedience from them. I told them that we were going to pitch in together and clean the house, bake some strawberry bread, read books, and enjoy our day.
And we have. The kids have been (mostly) great. They have cleaned without complaining. They ate their weight in strawberry bread. We read books upon books upon books. We had long in depth discussions about Star Wars (the current obsession around here). I actually ENJOYED my children again. I have really missed that over the last 6 weeks.
And I wonder, for the 385,670th time, why I can't grasp that the mama's attitude really does set the tone for the home?
Today, I made a decision that I was going to enjoy my boys and that I was not going to view the day as just something to survive. And, as a result, the day has been lovely. But I had to mentally decide that I was going to look for the good and minimize the less-than-great. Seems like this lesson would start to sink in. I am not going to spend time crying over the days we lost...they mattered too, of course. I AM going to be thankful that we had today, a bright, happy, snuggled up at home day...that started out just like the others before it, but then made a U-turn.
Now, you will have to excuse me. A certain sweet little 3 year old wants to snuggle.
